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Whatever way you slice it, divorce sucks.
Although I haven’t personally experienced it, I unfortunately get front row seats to couples contemplating it, going through it, and recovering from it in my counseling office.
I was recently introduced to a man who went through a divorce about 10 years ago and has been compiling a list of why divorce sucks ever since. Even though I deal with divorce on a regular basis, reading this list saddened me. Everyone knows divorce is hard, but this list gives a living breathing example of what it’s been like for one man and his kids.
We are so excited to announce that Dane and Paola Hall have joined the Marriage Revolution team of Biblical Counselors.
Dane and Paola are immediately available for individual and marriage counseling in our Woodlands, TX office.
Click HERE to view their profile and to book an appointment online.
95% of the couples that come to my office for counseling admit they need at least some degree of help in the area of communication. I wouldn’t disagree with any of them! But, I would disagree with most couples understanding of what needs to change with their communication.
Most couples think they need help with the principles of communication. Typically this would involve help in understanding, expression, and listening well. Although I agree there is room for teaching on these subjects, I would argue there is a deeper, more significant problem that is sabotaging communication between a husband and wife.
Maybe you already know what it is. You know: that one thing. It’s one thing that, like an arm in a cast, its layered hardness immobilizing you from totally embracing your spouse.
Maybe you’re like me; I didn’t even realize it was there. But still, it was a silent, mildly bitter seed I’d unwittingly nurtured when it niggled at me. Sometimes it was watered by a bad day that couldn’t keep pace with my vision of what life could be like if only.
RESPECT – Valuing and regarding another highly. Treating someone as important or with honor. Communicating or demonstrating that someone has worth. Synonyms: appreciation, awe, admiration, consideration, deference, dignity, esteem, honor, recognition, regard, reverence, or tribute
Let’s be honest. It’s easy to show your husband respect if his behavior is respectable. But what about when it isn’t?
How you can respect your husband if he isn’t respectable?
When was the last time you had meaningful conversation with your spouse?
Not just cliche conversation talking about the weather or the logistics of who’s going to take or pick up the kids from football and dance, but REAL conversation.
You know, the type of conversation that you used to have in the early days of your relationship. Conversation where hours seemed like minutes. Conversation that left you feeling known, heard, and secure. Conversation that led to sparks flying…in a good way!
Let’s face it. These types of conversations “just happened” and were the norm in the early days of your relationship. But as time went on, hours of long free-flowing conversations became shorter and fewer and far between.
My first job at 16 was a lifeguard at a local waterpark. I thought it would be the perfect summer job. I mean, what could be better than spending my summer days sitting on a lifeguard stand getting paid to look cool and get a killer tan?
Oakley mirrored sunglasses…check.
Red Swim trunks…check.
Whistle to blow at little kids being punks…check
Training to actually know what to do in the event of someone drowning and not having a pulse…what?! Didn’t anticipate that one.
Insert CPR training.
CPR is a lifesaving technique designed to revive vital signs that have ceased to function. If you need to give someone CPR, you know the situation is dire. Something needs to be done quick or the person will die.
I want to suggest that your marriage has some vital signs as well. If any of these vital signs are absent from your marriage, the situation is dire. Something needs to be done quickly or your marriage will die.
Don’t wait for your marriage to “stop breathing” to start checking its vital signs. Regardless of whether your marriage is on its death bed or just needs a tune up, the place to start working is on its vitals:
But as God brought these hurting couples our way, we found ourselves saying more and more, “If I would have just been able to see them earlier, things wouldn’t be so bad.”
That’s why we started to be committed to proactively ENRICHING marriages through our blog and marriage events.
As we became more committed to RESTORING and ENRICHING marriages, we realized we were still falling short in focusing on what might be the most important part of any marriage ministry: PREPARATION.
We’ve done a fair amount of pre-marital counseling in the past and we’ve done it well. But, we’ve lacked a person to champion this effort and make sure we’re continually offering the best, most relevant, and biblical preparation process possible for engaged couples. We needed someone passionate, experienced, and trustworthy.
I’m excited to announce that John Shaw has joined the Marriage Revolution team to offer Pre-Marital counseling effective immediately.
John has been doing pre-marital counseling for years through his time as serving as a full time pastor. He loves it. He’s good at it. And, I’m super excited about the impact he’s going to have on engaged couples in our community.
John has been a personal friend of mine for about 3 years. Star and I trust him, and you can too.