How to see your spouse with new eyes


Guest Post: Janel Breitenstein is a married mother of 4 who writes frequently for FamilyLife. Janel and her husband John currently serve with eMi in Uganda. You can visit her blog at

Remember the ’99 Julia Roberts flick, Runaway Bride?

Roberts’ character has a bad reputation for landing at the altar and, well, taking off. (Spoiler alert, here–) Turns out she’s been a chameleon of sorts, being “supportive” to the point of wholly adopting her not-so-future mate’s preferences, hobbies, and lifestyle: She likes her eggs the same way. She dons a large (fake) tattoo. She prepares to climb Everest for one of her (not-gonna-happen) honeymoons.

The fiancés are left clueless and bewildered as she turns from each of them, minutes from matrimony. I adored her! And yet, apparently none understood how little they’d actually sought out her soul, or cherished her uniqueness apart from what she contributed to their own interests.

At one point, the movie finds Richard Gere’s character, a reporter getting the scoop on her follies, tinkering at a piano with his ex-wife.

“Is that what happened?” he asks her. “Did I just…not see you?”

“No,” she responds quietly. “No, you didn’t.”

It’s easy enough, I think. To not really see this person we’re married to.

25 Easy Ideas To Add A Little Romance


Guest Post: Janel Breitenstein is a married mother of 4 who writes frequently for FamilyLife. Janel and her husband John currently serve with eMi in Uganda. You can visit her blog at

Romance (n): 1. a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.[1]

  1. Scent your bed sheets. Scatter a few flower petals over them in the evening…and suggest flipping off the TV for some “alternate entertainment.”
  2. If you’re not the normal dish-doer between the two of you, wash them.
  3. Set a “touch goal”: How many times can your fingers linger on his back, or rest on her knee? Can you rub her shoulders when you walk in the door? Run your fingers through his hair?
  4. Make your marriage a budget item. Start planning for a getaway, however small. Sparing the cost of a cup of good coffee for each of you once a week might make a good start for a decent vacation in a year!
  5. Ask God for romance in your marriage—and that He’d open your eyes to practical solutions…maybe even change your heart. He set aside a whole book of the Bible for it. It’s a priority for Him, too.
  6. Create a CD of songs that communicate the depth of your affection.
  7. Rub your mate’s feet after a long day.
  8. Make or buy chocolate covered strawberries, and a glass of something bubbly to go with it. Set it on a table in the bedroom as a surprise.
  9. Perfect the art of the massage with each other. This takes a lot of honest communication, and a genuine desire to learn. (Er, not unlike other elements of romance.)
  10. Raid your pantry, and transfer a few key items (chocolate sauce, perhaps?) to the bedroom.
  11. Write a love letter, address it to your spouse, and stick it in the mail.
  12. Take a walk together.
  13. On a night when the kids are out—or when you’ve hired a babysitter—make your spouse’s favorite dishes (or order them in!), add some candles, and perfect the classic candlelight dinner. Don’t forget dessert (ahem).
  14. On your way home, stop the car and pick a bouquet of flowers.
  15. Comb your wife’s hair.
  16. Identify what steals the romance in your marriage, and pray about their remedy. Then talk—and act—about what you can do to protect your relationship.
  17. Start a conversation with, “Remember when we…?”
  18. Are your underwear, or your spouse’s, in worse condition than your car? Consider a sexy replacement. For the underwear.
  19. Paint your wife’s toenails. Even if you aren’t an expert, there’s a chance that the fun may be worth it. (You shouldn’t need a dropcloth.)
  20. Remove your undergarments. ‘Nuff said.
  21. Grab your spouse’s favorite snack or drink on your trip to the store.
  22. Cuddle
  23. Make love in a different room.
  24. Dim the lights, plug in “your song”, and dance a little in the dark.
  25. Leave that text, e-mail, sticky note, or voicemail that shows how much you respect your partner for life—and how glad you are that they’re yours.

6 Secrets To Building a Marriage That Lasts



The following post was written by Glen Solberg. Glen is a marriage counselor in our Little Rock, Arkansas office.

72 years. No way!

I had to re-read the number.

But my eyes were not faulty. The couple my wife and I were reading about had indeed been married 72 years. That’s not something you hear about every day, especially in today’s world.

As I have pondered the story of Bruce and Esther Huffman since then, I have thought about Paul’s words in 2 Timothy 4 that speak of “finishing the race”.  The Lord had given me a picture of what it means to finish well in marriage in Bruce and Esther.

I want to finish well, like Bruce and Esther.

I know if you are married and reading this, you may be thinking the same thing. You may even be asking yourself the question I had to ask myself:

“What do I need to do today and tomorrow and next week to be intentional about “finishing well” in my marriage?”

As my wife, Shawn, and I pondered that question, here are some suggestions for ways you can work today to have a “Bruce and Esther” kind of marriage:

Marriage Revolution in Little Rock, AR

Introducing Glen Solberg

Glen Solberg

We are so excited to announce that Glen Solberg is now available for marriage counseling through Marriage Revolution in Little Rock, Arkansas!

Glen and I met and became friends while we both worked at FamilyLife from 2006 – 2010. Our friendship has grown over the years and through our conversations it became clear that God was leading Glen to help hurting couples in a more focused way through Biblical Counseling. As our conversation continued, we both sensed God leading him to be a part of Marriage Revolution.

Glen and his wife Shawn have been married over 23 years and have three great kids. He has personally seen God’s power in transforming marriages for many years, including his own.

Glen and Shawn were married only a year when they did not see hope for their marriage to continue after Glen’s adulterous affair. But the Lord did a miracle of reconciliation in their marriage and called them to share that hope with others as they served with FamilyLife from 2003 thru 2016. They had the privilege of sharing their story with many couples and walking with them as God brought help and hope to those couples.

Join me in welcoming Glen to our growing team of Biblical Counselors in the comments below!!

Glen’s offices will be located at The Summit Church in North Little Rock.

Please visit our counseling page to view Glen’s complete bio and to schedule your first appointment.


Introducing Kristin Abrahams

Marriage Revolution is so excited to celebrate our 6th anniversary next month! Its hard to believe how God has grown this ministry in such a short amount of time. When I stop and think about it I’m continually overwhelmed.

KristinWhat started out as hanging a counseling shingle on the door has turned into a multi faceted ministry that is helping tens of thousands of couples in all life stages all around the world. As we continue to reach more couples through our events and online resources, the demand for our counseling continues to grow.

3 Months ago we were excited to announce our first additional counselor, Scott Credeur, to help shoulder this load.

Now, we are equally excited to announce our 2nd addition to our counseling team, Kristin Abrahams, to help us reach even more couples.

Kristin and her Husband Paul have been married for 17 years and they have 3 kids. They both grew up in the Houston area and currently live in the Woodlands where they attend Faith Bible Church.

Kristin has been counseling couples, women, and teenagers for 15 years in a variety of settings, and I’m so excited that she has decided to use her gifts and talents at Marriage Revolution.

Finding good counselors you can trust and wholeheartedly recommend is the hardest part of this season of growth of our ministry. I’m so thankful that God has brought 2 godly, like minded counselors that I can do just that…without reservation.

Kristin will be available for counseling starting Monday, July 18th at our office at Church Project in the Woodlands.

Click HERE to read her full bio and to schedule an appointment.

How Not To Change Your Spouse


The following post was written by Scott Credeur. Scott is a counselor at Marriage Revolution in the Woodlands, Texas.

If you went to Sunday school as a kid, its very likely you learned a catchy song with some not so good hand motions that reveals a significant truth about marriage. What song do you ask?

It goes like this:

Zacchaeus was a wee little man and wee little man was he,

He climbed up in a sycamore tree for the Lord he wanted to see,

And as the savior passed that way he looked up in the tree,

And he said, “Zaccheus, you come down!”

For I’m coming to your house today.

What does this song have to do with marriage?

22 Phrases To Turn Your Love Around


One of my favorite authors and speakers, Paul Tripp, is famous for saying, “Change doesn’t take place in big, dramatic moments. Rather, the transforming work of grace operates in 10,000 little moments of life more than it does in a series of two or three life-altering events.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Here’s what that statement looks like as it relates to marriage, “Marriages are built and destroyed in the everyday small moments of life.”


Introducing Scott Credeur

God has continually blown us away with the number of hurting couples he has led our way over the years. Although we’ve never had to turn anyone away because of money, we’ve had to turn countless couples away because of limited capacity.

27f055a-2Last October, we decided it was time to hire a counselor to better handle the couples God was continuing to bring our way.

We prayed. We searched, We interviewed. We prayed again. Finally, last month we finalized bringing on Scott Credeur to Marriage Revolution.

When we started our search for another counselor, we wanted to make sure we hired someone that would represent the quality of counseling many of you have grown to trust to come from Marriage Revolution over the years.

You know our counseling is biblical, competent, caring, and points to Jesus Christ. Scott has demonstrated these qualities to me time and time again in our recent conversations and I can’t wait for him to start using these skills at Marriage Revolution.

I trust Scott. I’d send my closest friends to see him. That’s why we hired him.

I’ve known Scott for about 4 years. In those 4 years he has proven faithful and successful in helping couples in the Houston area and I’m excited to have him on board.

Scott will be available for appointments starting April 18th and also every other Saturday for those that struggle meeting during the week.

CLICK HERE to see his bio and schedule an appointment.

5 Years Is Just The Beginning

Would you help us make the next 5 even better?

It all started on a 7 hour drive from Little Rock to Houston.

5 years later, Marriage Revolution is a thriving marriage ministry that has impacted hundreds of thousands of couples around the world (Watch the video above to get a glimpse of all that God has accomplished through this ministry).

Our mission is and always will be to provide help and hope to couples without ever letting money stand in the way. Because of our faithful donors, we’ve never had to turn someone away for marriage help because of money over the past 5 years.

But that’s starting to change…

My waiting list is continuing to grow, and over the past 3 months alone I’ve had to turn away over 40 hurting couples that have reached out for help.

  • 40 couples that wanted help.
  • 40 couples that have finally realized they need help.
  • 40 couples who have humbled themselves and gained enough courage to reach out to a virtual stranger to help them in their marriage only to be told,

“I’m sorry, we can’t help you right now.”

More and more I’m turning couples away not directly because of money, but because of capacity.

How do we increase our capacity?

We believe now is the time for us to hire an additional full time Biblical Counselor to help us shoulder the load of couples God is bringing our way. This will be the biggest step of faith we’ve made in our short 5 years of existence, and I also believe it could be the most significant one.

Would you help us take this step by giving a one time gift, or by starting to give on a monthly basis?

Although our overall financial need is huge, the amount of your gift doesn’t need to be. In fact, I’d much rather see 100 families commit to $30 a month as opposed to 1 family commit to $3000 a month.

So, whether you can give a one time gift of $50 or $5000, or give $30 or $300 a month, would you please consider helping us take this step of faith and help exponentially more couples in 2016?


Thank You!

How to Confess A Sexual Sin To Your Spouse



When I confessed my sin of pornography to Star about 15 years ago it was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. It was also one of the most painful times for my wife.

She was shocked. She felt like she had just been hit by a truck. She thought I was a sicko. She thought I needed to be admitted for sexual addiction counseling. We had just rebuilt our marriage from a pile of ashes and now this?

My confession broke trust, exposed insecurities, and shattered any intimacy we had built over the 3 years before. But, I don’t regret it for a second…